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Grab a Pen, Ladies: Guys Reveal Their Favorite Sex Tips!

That’s right, their ALL-TIME FAVORITE MATTRESS MOVES!


cosmo-mattress-movesIf you’ve been too busy working to GET busy, you’re in luck: that especially lusty member of the family of women’s magazines, Cosmopolitan, has published a CliffsNote’s guide to men’s “all-time favorite mattress moves.” That’s right, ALL-TIME FAVORITES!

Here’s what they — and we — had to say:

JAMIE: “I can’t be the only guy who loves when a woman licks that soft patch of skin in front of my ears.”

TOTALLY CANDY LADY STAFFERS: If you close your eyes, a St. Bernard would be happy to the same. And won’t expect you to call in the morning.

DONNY: “When I lean in to kiss you, hold the back of my head gently in your hand. It’s tender yet sexy.”

TOTALLY CANDY LADY STAFFERS: That’s your favorite move EVER? Hmmm. Your wife must be listening.

TY: “Seeing a woman’s lips glide over the neck of a beer bottle always makes me think of her mouth on me.”

TOTALLY CANDY LADY STAFFERS: That’s interesting. When I glide my lips over the neck of a beer bottle, I always think — why am I sucking on this instead of the opening? Must be time for another Sam Adams!

JAKOB: “Once, my office phone rang, and when I answered, I heard my girlfriend at home moaning about how good it feels to touch herself.”

TOTALLY CANDY LADY STAFFERS: Unfortunately, she forgot to ask if she was on speakerphone.

KEN: “The night after I got a big promotion, my girlfriend said she was going to give me only oral sex all night.”

TOTALLY CANDY LADY STAFFERS: Sadly, that was the last thing she said before suffering permanent lockjaw.

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